my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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