So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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