just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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