If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
