that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize