my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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