Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
