He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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