Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
