can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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