he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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