I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Let the clothes fall where they may.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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