That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
