just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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