Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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