I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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