but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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