who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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