Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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