I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
