38 yer olds are good kisserssss
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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