She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Randomize
