i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
