Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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