'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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