Kareoke will never be a sober sport
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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