she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
bring money and cleavage
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
