I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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