Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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