I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I love you. Go after that dick
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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