just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize