I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
