I think I died a long time ago.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize