your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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