It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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