i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
