Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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