Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
third nipple confirmed
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
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