Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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