Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(317): View more from Indiana

eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?

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(815): View more from Illinois

Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?

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(859): View more from Kentucky

i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly

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(703): View more from Virginia

Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night

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(207): View more from Maine

Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.

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(515): View more from Iowa

So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?

(1-515): View more from Iowa

Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....

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(+61): View more from Australia

I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.

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(813): View more from Florida

He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.

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