so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
