yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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