I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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