I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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