Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
