What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
