high people should be assigned attendants
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
