you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
