yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
