ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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