You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
