Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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