Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Such a big mess for such a small penis
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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