I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
