office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
