I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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