come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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