I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
This baby is an asshole
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
