Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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