at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
