Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
