you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
