You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
