So drunk its hurt
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
