Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
