you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
